Small Cottage

"He laughed. Then he told me to leave. But that was after I told him we were getting married."

"... Is that all you said?"

"Um, not exactly what I said. I got a bit offended, and.. uh.. I sort of yelled at him a bit."

"Nice going."

Serenity, the next day, had miraculously found a hairdresser open on Boxer day. She had gotten all her hair chopped off to around her chin, with bangs, and it was all straight. The haircut was much more professional, and she seemed awfully happy with it. She went in and plopped onto the couch.

And as it was such a day, Elroy had set to work taking down the Christmas decorations. He didn't think the haircut suited Serenity very well, but he still complimented her.

"Hey, Elroy, while you're taking those down, would you pick up the paper?"

"Already did."

"Oh. Well, thank you." Serenity was quiet for a few more minutes.

"Will you please grow pair of balls?! You're such a chicken!" She shouted suddenly, in an almost neurotic mood change.

"You've seen 'em," Elroy retorted, coiling a garland into itself.

"Metaphorical balls!" Serenity shot right back. "I'm not in love with this! You're a lifeless asshole with no purpose. You didn't even have the guts to propose properly. Are you going to run away on our wedding day? I'm in love with a headstrong, idiotic, moody man who doesn't care what anyone else thinks. Where the hell is he? Are you having a midlife crisis? Because if you are, I hate it!"

Elroy cut her off after 'lifeless'. "If you're going into one of those lectures again, I'd rather just skip to the end."

"The end? The END?! Okay, I'll skip to the end. You don't put up Christmas decorations right! And you never even got me an engagement ring! Your face makes me want to punch you and make out with you at the same time. I don't even know why the hell I'm marrying you."

Elroy laid the garland in the box with the rest of what few ornaments they'd had. He'd dealt with angry bitches many times over his rather short life; this was nothing new.

Serenity kept raging on about nothing in particular. Eventually, though, all good things must come to an end, and she took deep breaths, positively exhausted.

And, without really listening to what she'd been saying, Elroy asked: "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing, I suppose. I can only talk. That's all lawyers do, really. I hope you listened, because that was rather important. I really do care about you."

He pressed the packing tape back over the flaps of the box as best he could. "Yeah."

"Good!" Serenity said, sitting down. "That was rather tiring."

"I bet."

"Do you want to give me a foot massage?"

"Do you need it?"

"If I don't get it I'll bring out the whip I got myself for Christmas and whip the shit out of you."

"Let me see it."

[screw this i was like high]