Defense Against the Dark Arts

[[You're a pervert, Sarah.]]

"Tut tut," said Professor Umbridge. "That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply "Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge". Once more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

"Oh, uh, good afternoon," said Rachel quickly, before turning to stare out the window again.

The class chanted Good afternoon.

"There now," she said sweetly. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."

She passed out textbooks with awesome wand charms and wrote on the board:

Defence Against The Dark Arts
A Return to Basic Principles

"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been a rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?" she stated.

The speech continued, until she turned to the blackboard.

The first message vanished and was replaced by "Course Aims"
1. Undersanding the principles underlying defensive magic.
2. Learning to recognise situations in which defensive magic can legally be used.
3. Placing the use of defensive magic in a vontext for practical use.

"Please write this down,"

Rachel threw a note up at Kelsi. The note said: "I knew we weren't going to be using wands. -_-" So, she put away her wand, and pulled out a piece of parchment, quill, and ink, and began to copy down the notes in a rush.

[[She wasn't there. ]]


Professor Umbridge stared at them all after a few minutes.
"Has everybody got a copy of Defensive MAgical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

Amanda slunk into the table and chairs behind Rachel and Olivia. Quietly, she pulled out her book and wrote down the "Course Aims" Amanda prayed Umbridge wouldn't notice..

Cara raised her hand.

Professor Umbridge ignored Cara.

Cara was shocked. She had never been ignored by a teacher before. Well, except Snape, but she knew that he hated anyone not in his house; especially Gryffindors. But, he wasn't right in the head, according to her. Maybe Umbridge was the kind that you didn't need to raise your hand for.

"... Um, Professor, this is Defense Against the Dark Arts, so, are we not going to be learning to defend ourselves, specifically, spells?"

"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge said with a small laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

"Well, no... but... a simulation..." she said quietly, putting her hand down.

People began calling out.

Rachel yelled out a question as well. "If we're going to just study out the book the whole time, what's the point of Defense Against the Dark Arts if we don't know how to DEFEND ourselves?"

"Hands, please! HANDS!" Professor Umbridge yelled out impatiently.
"And, we do not need wands! You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way-"

[[Who plays Potter?]]

[public domain. but, usually beth.]

[I cba to get my book out right now. :L]

They were all arguing and then Harry stood up and began yelling and stuff and got sent to McGonagall.

It was silent for a few moments. Really silent. Then there was the sound of running footsteps from outside the classroom.

Cara was shocked that a teacher had questioned to something she had said.

Olivia looked out the window again. The first years were gone.

There were moar running footsteps.

Suddenly, the door was swung wide open by Kelsi. She clutched the doorknob very tightly and was breathing really fast.
"Please~! 'u'"

[wow, they're screwed.]

Rachel stared at Kelsi and Libby. In her head, she was thinking: "Yep, they really ARE screwed,"

Libby kneeled down in front of Kelsi, arms splayed out to the sides, raep face included. "WE'RE NOT LATE! *u*"

Kelsi let go of the doorknob and leaned over Libby with her hands outstretched.
"NO! There was a group of first-years, who were yelling, and- and- and then Serenity's kittens came out of nowhere and began attacking Libby! And Libby was so scared- I had to tear the thing off her and chuck it out of the window!" Kelsi invented madly.

Libby started flailing her hands. "And then my brother came out of nowhere he's 18 he was all like 'YO! IMMA FIRIN' MY LASERS' so I was all 'ELL OH ELL KAY' and then he started dancing to berries and cream so then we had to take him to class then we had to run all the way over here, but then we realized we forgot something in the dorm, so we had to go there and now we're here!" Libby exclaimed in one big run-on sentence.